Finding Strength & Healing in My Self Portrait Project

Jen Bilodeau Photography | Self Portrait | Double Exposure Photography

I never really planned to start a self portrait project…..It kind of just found me.

Jen Bilodeau Photography | Self Portrait Photography

On the days when my joints feel heavy from the pain of rheumatoid arthritis, sitting in front of my lens gives me strength.  On days when I fear that I will one day loose the ability to hold my camera, letting this fear reflect through the mirrors of my camera lightens me.

Jen Bilodeau Photography | Self Portrait Photography

Most days, even the days that physically hurt, I feel happy.  On those days, I never feel the need to sit in front of my camera.  My mind and my camera instead are faced outward, taking in all the beauty around me.

Jen Bilodeau Photography | Self Portrait Photography

But from time to time, I allow myself to feel the depth of this disease, and I allow in the fear of what it is doing to my body.

Jen Bilodeau Photography | Self Portrait Photography

On those days, my camera is my therapy, and this outward expression of my emotions, my medicine.

Jen Bilodeau Photography | Self Portrait Photography

As with a long hot shower or a warm cup of tea, when I get the shot I want, I feel better.  I feel lighter.  I feel ready to move forward.

Jen Bilodeau Photography | Self Portrait Photography

Sometimes I think I’m done with my self portrait project….sometimes I want it to be done.  But, I know the reality is that it will never have an end.  For there will always be that day – the day when I am filled with fear, or pain or sadness, and I will know where to turn.

Jen Bilodeau Photography | Self Portrait Photography

I will turn to the sharp contrast of light and dark, to the quick click of the shutter….and the lightness I know will come from letting go and letting my camera carry the burden of my fear.

Jen Bilodeau Photography | Self Portrait Photography

 

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Jen is a featured Massachusetts based, lifestyle family and commercial photographer located in North Andover, Massachusetts. Through her artistic use of light and shadow, and her commitment to capturing authentic organic moments, Jen creates beautifully timeless and powerful imagery. Jen is also a CPA and enjoys mentoring fellow photographers to help them take their business to the next level. She is also a Clickin Moms Mentor, and a Click Photo School Instructor, teaching The Profitable Photographer: Your Guide To Sustainable Pricing, Business From The Ground Up, and What Lies Within: Creating Images With Depth & Emotion. Across all areas of her work, Jen strives to capture honest, emotive and timeless images that artfully preserve today's moments that matter.

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